VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES ABOUND!!!
Last year tens of thousands of volunteers donated nearly 12.5 hours of their time at the Roadhouse. We attribute this to their having to eat the food before they begin - a sad, sad requirement. They came from churches, civic groups, corporations, families, wharves, under the street, out of the closet, from various "organizations", and even from our own ranks - many were individuals who simply felt a strong calling to help in any way they could, even tho most of them have made the ultimate sacrifice to do so. Hundreds of other county hospital residents, recovery groups, and benevolent societies donated money, food, or life skills expertise (and in many cases, all three!) to help the Roadhouse meet the needs of our website's ravenous appetite for talent.
|
 |
Our Loving Chef and personnel director,
Herr Dr. KaiserVilhelm |
|
|
What kind of person does it take to volunteer? Our qualifications are as follows:
- Have a pulse
- Breathe regularly
- Move when prodded
- Not smell funny
- Be able to work nonstop for 64 hours
- Require no pay
- Work for extended periods without oxygen
- Tastes good with minimal spices
- Druggies need not apply.
|
Types of Volunteer Positions:
. Packing pecks of picked Pickled Peppers
. Stirring large cauldrons of vile smelling swill
. Peeling live rattlesnakes, manta rays, and
(occasionally) scorpions
. Separating food grade broken glass from non-food grade broken glass
. Basic First Aid skills, to include
intracranial surgery and anesthetic manufacture
. Combination Line Cook and Line Mechanic (2 positions)
. Front desk supporter
. Armed guard (must have UZI experience)
. Temp accountant (Bobs need not apply)
. Short term Management personnel
(must taste good with garlic and relish)
. Sorting used food and stocking shelves
with various prostheses.
Hours to Volunteer
Monday-Sunday 12 a.m.-11:59 p.m.
If you would like to volunteer but aren't available during these hours, contact us anyway. We often can find a place for you in the soup pot.
You must be 7 or older to volunteer at the Roadhouse.
You can volunteer to pack orders with parts of your parent or guardian, if you are between the ages of 4 and 6.
|
TO VOLUNTEER: Please fill out the following form, signifying your agreement to the following:
"Please, missus Roadhouse Personnel and Incarceration
sub-Director, Please may I work at the Roadhouse? I promise to show up every day, not to sleep on the job lest I be thrown into the soup pot, and to eat the food before my last, er, first day of employment. (Same thing, you'll see...)
I also agree to allow the Roadhouse to dispose of my carcass as they may see fit." |
(Please note that this page reflects the true spirit of what the Roadhouse used to be, specifically the humor contained therein. If you remember the old place (with the
old kitchen run by Chef Herr Dr. Kaiser Villhelm) you will understand. More
constituent parts of the original roadhouse will be added/updated as time allows
and as pieces are further uncovered. Please be advised that while S&S WEB and it's constituent companies are a privately held
company, we will accept applications for employment. If you do wish to apply, please contact the webmaster at one of the sites on one of the other pages. Thank you for your interest. )
|
|